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How to cope with an avoidant partner

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Many of us struggle to cope with partners who are by their nature emotionally avoidant. Part of the solution comes from recognising the challenges involved, having sympathy for what makes people avoidant and learning to apply some well-tested new patterns of behaviour.“There are, for many of us, few people as attractive as the avoidant:

  • The sort that are permanently a little mysterious;
  • Who don’t speak so much; around whom one never quite knows where one is; In whose eyes there is a faraway look, and perhaps a certain melancholy too;
  • In whose hearts we intuit a sadness we long to, but never quite can, touch; people who seem to promise us intimacy and connection, and yet who remain – however long we have been with them – mesmerisingly unreassuring.”

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